Mass-media muppetry and the mediocrity of the mundane masses

Filed by: Darren on February 15, 2007 at 13:36
Filed In: Life, Music

They announced the winners of the Brit Awards, the UK music industry's annual self-congratulatory back-slap and circle jerk, last night.

Modern Times by Bob Dylan Normally I wouldn't deign to pay even the slightest bit of attention to this sort of claptrap, but I happened to catch sight of the results of one particular category, and it seemed to me to sum up the essential problem with elevating and celebrating mass-popularity over quality, and encourage the great un-thinking masses (the Brit Awards are decided by a vote of all things, and apparently anyone can join in) to be the arbiters of a nation's supposed 'taste'.

The category in question was 'Best International Male Solo Artist'. The nominees included:

Damien Rice - An Irish singer-songwriter who eschews the sometimes mawkish elements of the Emerald Isle's 'traditional' music in favour of complex, dark, multi-layered compositions that seek to investigate and lay bare the very roots of emotion (well, he sings songs about love and what it means to be human, anyhow). Two albums so far; both of them a lot more interesting than anything by James Blunt, by the way...

Jack Johnson - A modern-day troubadour; a beach-bum folk-singer of great talent and great voice, who strolled onto the music scene a few years ago strumming a collection of cheerful, sunny tunes about life, love and living it up in Hawaii (which, let's face it, ought to make just about anyone sound cheerful) and hit exactly the right note with almost everyone, from old folkies to lovers of melodic, radio-friendly guitar pop.

Beck - A musician and entertainer who for fifteen years has been creating a bewildering array of soundscapes and song structures - everything from mellow ballads to funked-up hip-hop. Sometimes challenging, sometimes not so accessible at first, but always interesting, always worth a second listen. And a third, and a fourth...

Bob Dylan - What can I say that hasn't already been said? A living legend, an inspiration to countless singers, songwriters and strolling balladeers, a modern-day bard of the highest echelon - okay, maybe some of his music is a taste that has to be acquired... but once sampled, it's never forgotten. One of the true, all-time greats.

And who did the award go to?

Justin fucking Timberlake.

A pretty-boy who can dance a bit and occasionally hold a tune; who wouldn't even have crossed the musical radar if he hadn't shacked up with Britney Spears a few years back; a genuinely talentless waste of CD space who couldn't write a song if his bank-balance depended on it (which, luckily for him, it clearly doesn't); beloved of the record label execs mainly because he knows how to grind his hips and make the little girlies go weak at the gusset...

I despair... I really do.

<...End rant>