Attack of the Test-Tube Alien!

Update, Jan 2008: Over a year since I wrote this post, and I'm still getting fresh comments. Amazing...

If you've just arrived and are looking for help with a troublesome test-tube alien, please note:

I've got nothing whatsoever to do with the manufacturers. Their PR people just sent me one to 'review' over a year ago.
I can't help you if you've lost your registration number. Try contacting the manufacturers, 4kidz or www.alienadoptionworld.com. Same applies for any other miscellaneous alien behaviour questions.
If you're wondering what the flashing lights mean, see comment #2 (below).
If you've lost your 'sloog' alien food, don't panic, mine grew fine without using more than the first packet.

And now, on with my original post:

Stuck for that last-minute present for the sci-fi fan in your life? Try a Test Tube Alien for size...

I was sent one of these to birth and nurture by the UK marketing agency who represents the manufacturer, and have just spent a happy ten minutes following the instructions and sloshing it around in water.

Stage 1

The wee beastie arrives in some chunky plastic packaging. Careful with those scissors, kids!

Stage 2

Inside the pack there's a test-tube containing a weird, chalky coccoon-like object, three silver-foil packets of 'sloog' (alien food) a set of instructions (you'll need those...) and an alien registration card.

Stage 3

Pour in the water, and all sorts of interesting chemical reactions start to happen... all over the work-top. Er... time to re-locate to the sink. (Note: emergency anti-alien spray lurking in background in case things turn nasty.) But wait... is that something emerging through the murk..?

Stage 4

Yes! It lives! IT LIIIIVES! Well, it flashes, anyhow...

.
...although apart from that, it pretty much just sits there and looks at you [*]. Okay, so it's not quite a Wii, but what it lacks in interactivity it probably makes up for in geek-cred. And the whole fizzing coccoon thing is quite interesting, plus, it's probably science of some sort, which means it's educational and therefore good for you... right?

And hey, give it a couple of weeks of sloshing around in sloog and it'll grow up to be a bigger alien in a test-tube [*]. That is, if you remember to feed it. And if you make sure it gets enough light / dark (12 hours of each per day). And you can register it online as long as, unlike me, you manage to hold on to your alien registration card and not lose it amongst the clutter on your desk...

So there you go. Available from Amazon, although you'll probably have to leg it down to your nearest Toys-R-Us or Woolworths or somewhere if you want to get this particular weird gadget in for someone for Xmas.

[*] Update: 21.12 - Hey, the wee beastie is only 24 hours old and already it seems to be evolving... weird, scaly lumps and protruberances are appearing all over its torso, and it appears to be growing a tail... (memo to self and others: don't tip it upside-down to get a better look, the plastic stopper isn't quite water-tight... )

December 20, 2006 | Filed Under Stuff | 50 Comments

Cyberman upgrades for the five-and-over age group…

Is it me, or are Cybermen getting shorter..? File under 'Want One!': Cyberman voice-changing helmet, y'say? Imagine the hilarity up and down the country on Xmas day as hundreds of little helmet-clad darlings sit down to try to stuff their festive turkey and sprouts through the light-up mouth-piece...

Do you think they do one in extra large..?

But wait, what's that? Forbidden Planet don't have them in stock? They've got everything else..! Just you wait 'til I speak to that Joe Gordon... what's that y'say, Joe? FP were already recommending them on the FP Blog back in October, sold out in seconds as a result, and now can't get their hands on any more because every other bugger has caught on after the fact and the manufacturer didn't make enough in the first place? I might have known...

Ah well, looks like I might have to get one from Amazon instead. Mind you, £69.99 (ouch!) might be a bit much, even to scare the hair off my three-and-a-half-year-old niece on Boxing Day...